dchan: A silhouette of a woman appearing to hold the sun in her hands (hold the sun in my hands)
Hey guys! I realize it's been a really long time since I've posted anything, so those of you who don't read my twitter or talk to me on AIM might be unaware of what's going on in my life. There's been a lot of major changes going on in the past couple of eight months, so I figured it was well past time for an update.

Bullet point version GO!

+ Last fall was pretty shitty for me emotionally, and I was roller-coastering all over the place.
+ I ended up going on medical leave from school again in December. *sigh*
+ After some thought, I decided that instead of trying to try to go back right away, I should spend some time trying to figure out what I want to do, because I've been having a LOT of doubts about what my long-term goals are lately.
+ My car's brakes spontaneously failed in May and I had a pretty bad crash on the freeway. Luckily I wasn't hurt, but I no longer have a car and it is driving me crazy.
+ I started making things to sell at conventions! I make spiffy feather headbands and candles. I'm hoping to start up an etsy shop soon.
+ I moved to Iowa in July! I'm living with [personal profile] calculusletters, [personal profile] thiefofvoices, and [personal profile] magistrate (and a couple other people) now. I'm so happy to be able to live with my family, but uprooting myself and moving half-way across the country has been a BIG change for me. More on that later, probably.
+ I turned 24 at the beginning of August. I feel old now. T_T
+ I'm a Certified Pharmacy Technician now. There are a lot of healthcare jobs around here, so I figured that would be something that I could probably get a job that would be less soul-crushing than retail. (And it pays a hell of a lot better too.) I took the certification test a couple of weeks ago and passed on my first try. :D Now to find a job....

Aaaand, lastly but probably most importantly, I've decided to change the name I go by. I've decided to go by San from now on. It's not that I suddenly dislike the name dchan, but I've been dchan for over 7 years now and the name has just...ceased to resonate for me. It doesn't feel like it fits anymore, which makes sense because I'm a very different person now compared to back then. And I figured, since there are so many other major changes going on in my life right now, it seems like a perfect time to make the switch.

And as to why the name San...well, I actually haven't figured that out yet, haha. I was trying to find a more gender-neutral name for myself that I could also start using regularly in real life (like at my job and such, if/when I get one) and San just...sounded right in my head. I'm not entirely sure what it means, if anything. It definitely feels like it's short for something, although I'm not entirely sure what. Possibly Sanya. That's the one that's stuck around the longest, but it still doesn't feel quite right. It'll come to me in time, I'm sure.

Of course, I don't expect everyone to be able to switch right away. That's fine. I'm perfectly comfortable with being called dchan, and I'll still respond to it if people call me that. However, I'm going to start referring to myself as San pretty consistently in most places from now on, so people should be aware of that. ...Or something.

P.S. I pronounce San with an 'ah' sound (so it rhymes with "con" or "dawn"). In theory, you could also pronounce it with an æ sound (like in "man" or "cat"), but I happen to think that æ is a really unpleasant vowel sound so I don't pronounce it that way and might look at you slightly funny if you do. :|
dchan: A winged girl in a cage. text: I seek happiness (i seek happiness)
I don't feel like I should be here.  I feel like I'm suffocating--no, asphyxiating--emotionally.  Like an astronaut in outer space whose helmet seal just broke. Except that it wasn't so much a catastrophic failure as a slow leak, so I didn't notice that my oxygen reserves were depleting faster than normal until it was too late to turn back.

"If my heart was a house, you'd be home" and my home is 1500 miles away, even though I've lived in Southern California all my life.

I don't know how much more of this I can take, to be honest.  I'm gasping for air, and I'm quickly running out.

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dchan: A white silhouette on a black background of a girl with mechanical  wings (Default)
San

January 2012

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