dchan: A white silhouette on a black background of a girl with mechanical  wings (Default)
2011-06-04 02:50 am

Wings

I ran across this picture while looking for a reference for wings to give Mio at the Midsummer Night's Dream party for BtR, and they're one of the closest things I've seen to how I picture my wings in my head.

The overal shape is not quite right--the shape of mine resemble bat wings more than fairy wings--but the essence of it is there: the twisted and gnarled bits as well as the irregular wing-segments. Of course, with mine the twisted parts are made out of wire and electronic bits instead of wood and vines, but the color of the wood is so dark in that picture that you can almost imagine that it's made of wire instead.
dchan: Kishuu Arashi (from X/1999) (arashi)
2010-11-09 07:03 pm

In a trail of fire I'll burn before you bury me//Set your sights for the sun

Soooo. I still don't have my computer back yet. I'm really annoyed, but I can't quite bring myself to get angry about it. The fact that I can get into SFL and use the library computers 24/7 does a lot to alleviate things. I've also been using my iPod Touch to use AIM and do light internet browsing back at the apartment. Tagging on it is a pain though. I'll spend thirty minutes painstakingly typing out a tag with one finger and then I'll press one wrong button and it'll get eaten. D:<

I am loving the current plot I've got going with Mio. She accidentally killed a man with her power, and had to call Jack and Owen for backup because she was incapacitated from the psychic backlash. She's debriefing Jack right now, plus she's also been having a talk about it with Ianto. In her talk with Ianto, she's slowly realizing that she's beginning to fall in love with him, but she's never felt this except second hand, so the poor girl is dreadfully confused. She's also beginning to realize she's attracted to him as well (due her history and emotional intimacy issues, it does have to happen in that order), and is not quite sure what to do with that either. The problem with living most of your adult life in a place with very free sexual expression is that she's not quite sure what to do now that she's back in the 21st century where there are courting rituals. I want to hit her and Ianto both with a cluebat, although it finally beginning to look like things are beginning to get places.

So magi were talking the other morning and we had the idea of a Phoebe/Jack/Ianto/Mio OT4. I think this is the best thing ever and we should totally go for it. Mio is less enthusiastic. Part of it is because it wasn't her idea. Mio always like it when things are her idea. But the thing is, this whole OT4 thing would totally ruin her plans of emotional martyrdom. She knows Ianto still has very strong feelings for Jack, and she doesn't want to take advantage of that. So she'd either want to try to set him back up with Jack, or with Phoebe once she learns that Ianto and Phoebe are attracted to each other. She doesn't want to dump her emotional intimacy issues on him as well as all of the other issues she's burdening him with. (At this point, I'm going like "Ahahaha, Mio, why are you me? Stop being me. It's creepy.") With Jack, she's also in a lot of denial about how she feels about him, but also she doesn't know how Ianto feels about poly and doesn't want to try to steal Jack away from him. If Jack started putting the moves on her, that would be one thing, and she'd consider it, but she can't be making any of the first moves in this situation. With Phoebe, Mio feels awful about it, but she kind of has issues with her. Phoebe has a lot of similar personality characteristics to Mio's cousin Mizuki that Mio bullied all of their childhood, so Mio gets flashbacks about it sometimes. She doesn't want to hurt Phoebe or anything, but it's hard to be around someone who reminds you of what a terrible person you were. So Mio's been avoiding Phoebe since they joined Torchwood, but she's been so discreet about it that Phoebe has no clue! Which in some ways, kind of makes it worse for Mio. I don't know if they'll end up attracted to each other once they've worked things out or not. I'm pretty sure Mio's pansexual, once you get over the intimacy issues, but Phoebe's never made any indication that she's into girls. In fact, she's turned down all of the girls who have gotten crushes on her, so that side of the OT4 may not connect. But characters have a way of surprising us sometimes, so you never know!

ETA: Phoebe turned down Iris, but she kind of had a thing with Sunshine and a quasi-platonic crush-thing on Babel. Mio doesn't know about either of those, though.

Luka's sort of been at odds and ends lately, and has been for a while. I'm not really sure what to do with her to get her back into gear again. She's around, and I can usually find something to tag her into, but there's no real overarching storyline going on. It's frustrating, because she's so fixated on Arlin even though he's been out of town for several months now. I want her to move on, at least a little bit, but she's so intent on moping over his absence.

Totally on a different subject, but I discovered an awesome band called Pendulum the other day. They're a drum'n'bass/electronic rock band based out of the UK. I bought their second album, In Silico, on Saturday, and I have been listening to it almost nonstop since then. It's pretty awesome. Sadly, their third album is not up on iTunes right now, and I can only download from there because of not having a computer I have to download straight to my iPod. (Does Amazon mp3 work for downloading to iPods?) Now that I'm not super worried about money anymore because my dad transferred the rest of my money for the month, I might pick up the first album tonight.

Oh, and also some good news! Although I was out of commission most of last week due to having a hypomanic episode, I got all caught up except the midterm in one of my classes and I'm talking to my profs about the situation and they're totally flexible with working with me. So yay, I'm not getting kicked out of school right now! (It may be an issue again if I don't finish all of my classes this term, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.)
dchan: A white silhouette on a black background of a girl with mechanical  wings (suu silhouette)
2010-09-17 11:39 am

I am the rhythm and the noise, I am the voices in your blood

Lately I have been contemplating names. I've begun to feel like the nickname dchan has somewhat outlived its use. For one thing, the letter "d" stopped having any particular meaning to me a couple years back. (It used be short for Dragon-chan, as dragons were something of a totem mythical animal for me in high school, but I've moved past that stage in my life.) Secondly, if you are at all familiar with Japanese, "dchan" is obviously gendered female. I've briefly considered using a different, more gender-neutral honorific, but d-san doesn't really have any real punch to it, d-sama sounds horribly pretentious, and I'm not overly fond of the way d-kun sounds. :\ Other honorifics exist, but most of them fall into the "overly pretentious" category. I'm also not super fond of the letter D by itself.

I could start going by my real first name on the internet, but I was raised back in the day when You Did Not Reveal Your True Name On The Internet. To this day I only use my real name for things like Stalkerbook (to keep in touch with RL people), and shopping sites that require credit card info (Amazon, etc.) Fandom-type activities are all under some variation of dchan or Ryuu Hime (which has outlived its use even more than dchan, but my email address for the last 6+ years has been under that name so I'm slightly stuck with it now).

I've begun vaguely considering ideas for a new internet handle-thing. Nothing definite, yet, but I thought I'd brainstorm some concepts that I feel are important to my identity below. Please feel free to toss out suggestions at me in the comments. It's always useful to see another person's perspective on the way I present myself.

Important things:
the color black (gray, purple and red are important secondary colors)
music, esp. gothic & industrial--The Crüxshadows and VNV Nation are important bands
science, esp. chemistry
neuroatypicality, esp. autism/Asperger's
asexuality (specifically panromantic, but in general too)
genderfluidity
anime/manga/Japanese culture
butterflies (as a symbol of change)
amaranth (as in the mythological flower that never fades--don't ask me why amaranth & butterflies are both very important symbols to me when they have almost opposite meanings!)

Note that I'm considering both name-like names and more username-y names, provided the latter has some sort of shortened form that doesn't sound too awful as a nickname.  Uncommonness s.t. it'd be regularly available as a username on sites would also be a big bonus.