dchan: A silhouette of a woman appearing to hold the sun in her hands (hold the sun in my hands)
Hey guys! I realize it's been a really long time since I've posted anything, so those of you who don't read my twitter or talk to me on AIM might be unaware of what's going on in my life. There's been a lot of major changes going on in the past couple of eight months, so I figured it was well past time for an update.

Bullet point version GO!

+ Last fall was pretty shitty for me emotionally, and I was roller-coastering all over the place.
+ I ended up going on medical leave from school again in December. *sigh*
+ After some thought, I decided that instead of trying to try to go back right away, I should spend some time trying to figure out what I want to do, because I've been having a LOT of doubts about what my long-term goals are lately.
+ My car's brakes spontaneously failed in May and I had a pretty bad crash on the freeway. Luckily I wasn't hurt, but I no longer have a car and it is driving me crazy.
+ I started making things to sell at conventions! I make spiffy feather headbands and candles. I'm hoping to start up an etsy shop soon.
+ I moved to Iowa in July! I'm living with [personal profile] calculusletters, [personal profile] thiefofvoices, and [personal profile] magistrate (and a couple other people) now. I'm so happy to be able to live with my family, but uprooting myself and moving half-way across the country has been a BIG change for me. More on that later, probably.
+ I turned 24 at the beginning of August. I feel old now. T_T
+ I'm a Certified Pharmacy Technician now. There are a lot of healthcare jobs around here, so I figured that would be something that I could probably get a job that would be less soul-crushing than retail. (And it pays a hell of a lot better too.) I took the certification test a couple of weeks ago and passed on my first try. :D Now to find a job....

Aaaand, lastly but probably most importantly, I've decided to change the name I go by. I've decided to go by San from now on. It's not that I suddenly dislike the name dchan, but I've been dchan for over 7 years now and the name has just...ceased to resonate for me. It doesn't feel like it fits anymore, which makes sense because I'm a very different person now compared to back then. And I figured, since there are so many other major changes going on in my life right now, it seems like a perfect time to make the switch.

And as to why the name San...well, I actually haven't figured that out yet, haha. I was trying to find a more gender-neutral name for myself that I could also start using regularly in real life (like at my job and such, if/when I get one) and San just...sounded right in my head. I'm not entirely sure what it means, if anything. It definitely feels like it's short for something, although I'm not entirely sure what. Possibly Sanya. That's the one that's stuck around the longest, but it still doesn't feel quite right. It'll come to me in time, I'm sure.

Of course, I don't expect everyone to be able to switch right away. That's fine. I'm perfectly comfortable with being called dchan, and I'll still respond to it if people call me that. However, I'm going to start referring to myself as San pretty consistently in most places from now on, so people should be aware of that. ...Or something.

P.S. I pronounce San with an 'ah' sound (so it rhymes with "con" or "dawn"). In theory, you could also pronounce it with an æ sound (like in "man" or "cat"), but I happen to think that æ is a really unpleasant vowel sound so I don't pronounce it that way and might look at you slightly funny if you do. :|
dchan: A white silhouette on a black background of a girl with mechanical  wings (suu silhouette)
Lately I have been contemplating names. I've begun to feel like the nickname dchan has somewhat outlived its use. For one thing, the letter "d" stopped having any particular meaning to me a couple years back. (It used be short for Dragon-chan, as dragons were something of a totem mythical animal for me in high school, but I've moved past that stage in my life.) Secondly, if you are at all familiar with Japanese, "dchan" is obviously gendered female. I've briefly considered using a different, more gender-neutral honorific, but d-san doesn't really have any real punch to it, d-sama sounds horribly pretentious, and I'm not overly fond of the way d-kun sounds. :\ Other honorifics exist, but most of them fall into the "overly pretentious" category. I'm also not super fond of the letter D by itself.

I could start going by my real first name on the internet, but I was raised back in the day when You Did Not Reveal Your True Name On The Internet. To this day I only use my real name for things like Stalkerbook (to keep in touch with RL people), and shopping sites that require credit card info (Amazon, etc.) Fandom-type activities are all under some variation of dchan or Ryuu Hime (which has outlived its use even more than dchan, but my email address for the last 6+ years has been under that name so I'm slightly stuck with it now).

I've begun vaguely considering ideas for a new internet handle-thing. Nothing definite, yet, but I thought I'd brainstorm some concepts that I feel are important to my identity below. Please feel free to toss out suggestions at me in the comments. It's always useful to see another person's perspective on the way I present myself.

Important things:
the color black (gray, purple and red are important secondary colors)
music, esp. gothic & industrial--The Crüxshadows and VNV Nation are important bands
science, esp. chemistry
neuroatypicality, esp. autism/Asperger's
asexuality (specifically panromantic, but in general too)
genderfluidity
anime/manga/Japanese culture
butterflies (as a symbol of change)
amaranth (as in the mythological flower that never fades--don't ask me why amaranth & butterflies are both very important symbols to me when they have almost opposite meanings!)

Note that I'm considering both name-like names and more username-y names, provided the latter has some sort of shortened form that doesn't sound too awful as a nickname.  Uncommonness s.t. it'd be regularly available as a username on sites would also be a big bonus.

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dchan: A white silhouette on a black background of a girl with mechanical  wings (Default)
San

January 2012

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